January 21, 2024
Matthew 10:24-31
Introduction
It has happened so often in my life I can’t remember the first time it happened. The one that sticks out was in elementary school gym class and teams we being picked for basketball. I was tall, but it was well known height was the only basketball prowess I had—which didn’t come close to making up for my weaknesses. And so I found myself standing with one other student, who had a broken arm. And he got picked over me, and I was picked last. (It was the 80’s so you could go to gym class with a cast. But that was it… the moment I first felt rejected.
And that heartbreaking feeling would return many, many times from that moment on. In my sporting endeavors coaches routinely chose others to start and play over me. In classroom group projects no one clamored to partner with me, instead angling to get the much smarter students. In high school I desperately wanted to take physics because of the cool, interesting, and fun lab experiments you got to do—but alas my guidance counselor said, “Sorry, you don’t have the math aptitude to take physics.”
And if ever I would work up the nerve to ask a girl out, always the reply would be some version of: “Let’s just be friends” or “I think of you as a brother” or, “I’m just not interested in you in that way. All of it, amounts to the same heartbreaking reality called… rejection.
There were letters from colleges informing me I didn’t qualify for admission. I’ve had credit cards rejected in stores and restaurants, which is always a humiliating experience. I had college friends reject me when they pledged a fraternity, and I didn’t. I had a clergy colleague who, when they found out I don’t condemn and judge and rail against those of certain “lifestyles”, tell me they could no longer associate with me because of these “immoral and unbiblical beliefs.” I can quote this verbatim because I still have the letter he wrote to me. Before I came to Stow, I interviewed with two other churches and was sure they would fall all over themselves to get me. They did not.
Over the years there have been visitors to our church who I have met and met with, never to return because they rejected something about me. There have been members leave, or drop off, or avoid me because they got upset with me over something I said or did, or didn’t say or didn’t do—rejected again.
And I know all of you have experienced rejection too…many of you in worse ways than I have experienced. Rejected for a job or promotion because of the color of your skin or gender or age. Rejected from leadership positions or honors because you didn’t have the right connections. Rejected by your spouse because he found someone younger, or she found someone who was wealthier.
I could go on and on because there are few experiences in life more painful than rejection. I hate it because I want to serve and help and I want everyone to love me, and it hurts to discover that’s never going to happen. I fear rejection because it makes me feel like an absolute failure.
When we are rejected we assume it is because we are faulty or worthless. If we were of more value, more attractive, more intelligent, more… whatever, then everyone would like us and we would not be rejected. We would have been picked first—not last! But because I wasn’t picked, then it must be me. There must be something wrong with me. Rejection is powerful and painful and that’s why we fear it. Rejection leaves us believing the pain because if we had value and worth why would we ever be rejected?
Move 1
Our passage of Scripture is a sobering dose of reality. It says we disciples should not expect to be treated any differently than Christ was treated when he walked upon this earth. A disciple is not above the teacher… it is enough for the disciple to be like the teacher… If they have called the master of the house Beelzebul (Satan), how much more will they malign those of his household!
This passage reminds us, even the best among us was rejected. Before Jesus was ridiculed and killed, he was first rejected by his own hometown, the only place it is recorded he could not do miracles because they refused to believe in him.
He was rejected by his own religious leaders who refused to see him for who he was and accept his words as the truth. He was rejected by his own disciples who betrayed him and denied him. He was rejected by the very ones he came to save, who changed their shouts from Hosanna to Crucify! In fact, Jesus suffered so much rejection that early Christianity attributed the line from the Prophet Isaiah, 53:3, as pertaining specifically to Jesus, “He was despised and rejected by others: A man of suffering and acquainted with grief.” And now Matthew is confirming, rejection is inevitable. If it happened to Jesus, we cannot expect anything different. But because rejection happens, even to Jesus, we learn several important lessons about rejection, and about life after rejection.
Move 2
The first lesson is rejection is not definitive evidence we are wrong or defective. Like Jesus, we can be rejected and right at the same time. A young person who refuses to be pressured into sex or drinking or drugs by his or her peers can be rejected but rejected for making the right choice.
Whenever we stand up for what we believe, and refuse to back down regardless of the consequences, we will suffer rejection by those who don’t believe what we believe. But their rejection does not mean we are wrong in what we believe. This is when we need to remember Jesus did not fear rejection or try to avoid it. He stood for what he believed and accepted the consequences knowing that rejection could not destroy him. And neither can it destroy those who follow him.
Another lesson we learn about rejection is that because it happened to Jesus, it shows us we can be rejected and be of worth at the same time. Rejection by people does not equate to rejection by God. The cross showed that Jesus was rejected by the greatest religious and political organizations of his time, but the resurrection revealed he was not rejected by God.
This truth implores us to ask ourselves… If God is for us, what does it matter who is against us? I would rather have God with me and a thousand against me than a thousand with me and God against me. You have God with you, so what can another do against you that is of more significance than what God can do for you?
If it is true that God can use all things to our good, then since God is with us that means God can even use our rejections to our good! Which will always give us the assurance that there really is…life after rejection.
Move 3
I am going to go out on a limb and guess what is true for me is true for you. And what is true for me is… When I look at my own life, I can see if I had not been rejected by certain colleges and certain people, and certain relationship pursuits, I would never have been at the right place at the right time for what God knew was best for me.
Had I not been rejected by certain teachers, coaches, and colleges I would not have taken the path that led me to God’s call for my life. Had I not been rejected by certain people and pursued relationships, I would never have been at the right place at the right time to have the friends who support me unconditionally, nor would I have met the love of my life. Had I not been rejected by other churches; I would never have had the opportunity to come to First Christian of Stow.
So often we forget, sometimes rejection might just be the best thing that happens to us. Rejection usually happens because we decide to take risks and be vulnerable with other people. Rejection happens because we truly care about someone or truly care about an issue or truly feel called to a position and we stand firm in it. You stick your neck out, you make your feelings and beliefs known, and you give it your all.
But yes, when rejected, it is a painful experience. That’s why some people who have loved and lost vow never to love again. It is too painful. But people who stop risking rejection miss the purpose of life. Being accepted by others, which we so cherish and value, is not the ultimate purpose in life. If that were the case, then Jesus was a miserable failure. No, the ultimate purpose in life is to do God’s will and God’s will always involves the risk of love and the risk of standing against the crowd. And if rejection results from trying to love another or from standing up for what we believe in or staying true to our core values… then so be it. Better to be rejected for who you are than accepted for being a fraud.
Conclusion
We are reminded today that rejection is a normal part of life. But we also learn that just because others reject us, that does not mean we are wrong and it certainly doesn’t mean we are worthless because God never rejects those who acknowledge God.
Jesus says not a sparrow falls to the earth without the Father’s knowledge and presence. And if God cares that much about little birds and knows that intimately about their lives, how much more does God care about our lives when we fall to earth from rejection?
It is the deepest mystery of our faith that God’s love was expressed ultimately in the event of Jesus’ worst rejection—his crucifixion. It just goes to show God’s greatest successes can come out of our worst failures because God sees us when we fall and loves us too much to leave us there on the ground. And if we are patient enough, we will eventually see God use our rejections to lead us into new paths and bless us in new ways.
*******
Now having said all that… I still hate rejections. But we no longer have to fear rejection or allow rejection to determine our worth. Because when we realize and embrace the truth that the One who accepts us is far more significant and influential to our lives than all of those who reject us put together—that is when we truly discover life after rejection. Amen.
Pastoral Prayer, January 21, 2024
Gracious and merciful God, so often we forget who you are. We get caught up in our own desires. We work too hard, we buy things we don’t need, we look for love in all the wrong places. We put on airs to make others think we are someone they will want in their life. We search for an earthly way out of human loneliness.
And by doing this, we forget you are always there O God, waiting for us to come to you. In fact, we often reject your love, convincing ourselves there is something better, something more tangible, something that will not only give us love, but will generate love from others for us.
But what comes from this progression, this faulty way, is we are left wandering aimlessly, searching for what we know will never give us what we need.
So we pray Holy God, be with us in our wanderings; meet us in our rejections; comfort us in our pain with your love and your never ending assurance that we are loved, valued, and worthy because you love us as your own. Help us in our search to find you. Help us in our times of rejection to have trust and faith in the truth that you will never, ever reject us.
And while this is our prayer, O God, we know too it’s never that easy. To overcome the fear of rejection, in order to be loved as we want and need, we know we must first be open, we must be vulnerable, we must be who we truly are and let that be known. For when we risk such, when we step out in faith in such a way, then we will find the life you intend for all your children.
Hear now O God, the prayers from deep within our hearts, as we lift them to you in this time of Holy Silence.
All this we pray in the name of our Savior, who give us the assurance that we will never ever be rejected, Jesus the Christ, who taught us to pray, saying, “Our…”